Blackest Swan
There has been too much talk about The Black Swan starring Natalie Portman and directed by Darren Aronowsky. Brilliant acting, they say. Academy Award quality, they say. Complex themes, they say. "What are you doing now?” he asked. “Do you keep a journal?" "So I make my first entry to-day."
In this way did Henry David Thoreau begin his journal, on the 22 October 1837, when he was still a young man of twenty-two years.
“What are you doing now?” I ask? “Do you keep a blog?” So I make my first entry today, not as a young man of twenty-two, but as an older man nearing the end of a sixth decade. My beard grays, but I have yet a few things to say and learn.
There has been too much talk about The Black Swan starring Natalie Portman and directed by Darren Aronowsky. Brilliant acting, they say. Academy Award quality, they say. Complex themes, they say.
Montaigne’s essay, “On Idleness,” seems really to be about what to do with such a state, and addresses exactly the dilemma I face while reading his essays. He argues that a rich and fertile field laying fallow remains prey to all kinds of wild and useless weeds, “and that to set it to work we must subject it and sow it with certain seeds for our service.” I think what he refers to here is the idea that without care and attention nothing of value can grow. “The soul that has no fixed goal loses itself; for as they say, to be everywhere is to be nowhere.” And so I am reading Montaigne’s essays with no fixed goal and I am everywhere and nowhere. I must to the hoe and the plough.
I believe tonight is the State of the Union Message. I have some sense of that state and will head instead to a production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. I’ve been thinking lately of Ophelia’s conversation with Hamlet in Act II. In his antic mood he has abused Ophelia whom he loved and she, innocent and hurt, approaches him. She has been set up by her father and the King and Queen in an attempt to learn the cause of Hamlet’s madness. Polonius, mindful of her social status, has cautioned Ophelia to be wary of Hamlet’s advances, and dutiful daughter that she is, she has been coy with him. Everyone assumes Hamlet’s madness has resulted from her rejection. While she engages Hamlet, the King and Polonius eavesdrop from behind the curtain on the conversation between Hamlet and Ophelia.
Montaigne is the first blogger. He attributes the production of his Essais to an excess of idleness: the mind, he avers, requires activity or it becomes cluttered with an overgrowth of useless weeds. The mind needs tending. He returns home from some public commitment and according to Frame’s biographical chart, Montaigne falls into some sort of depression out of which he hopes his essays will raise him. He is oppressed by the things he experiences in his mind, and he recognizes that it is in the structure of the writing that he might cure himself—the talking cure begun as writing. “I find—that like a runaway horse, [my mind in idleness] gives itself a hundred times more trouble than it took for others, and gives birth to so many chimeras and fantastic monsters, one after another, without order or purpose, that in order to contemplate their ineptitude and strangeness at my pleasure, I have begun to put them in writing, hoping in time to make my mind ashamed of itself.” That is, alarmed by the uncontrolled (and uncontrollable) absurdities that occur in his thoughts, he means to transforms those chimeras and monsters by actively writing them out and turn respectable the disreputable nature of his idle mind.
It is a new year—2011—and I think this might be the one. On New Year’s Eve I ordered a glass of wine and the server asked me for my ID. I was a bit shocked but happily acceded. After all, I haven’t been asked for proof of age in over forty years. And my gray beard and age-cut lines bespeak do not suggest some masquerade. I received my pinot noir and looked at the menu. There, at the bottom of the page the following was printed: “We ask for identification for anyone who appears under the age of 50 years old.” So, I thought, is it possible that I do look under 50? My daughters say, of course, but they have ulterior motives, though I do not know what they might be. I am not asked for identification when I request a senior ticket at the movies or the theater, and so I assume for their purposes I certainly look beyond sixty years of age.