Twleve Thousand Year Old Bones? Hah!

I read today in The New York Times that

Scientists digging in a remote Indonesian cave have uncovered a jaw bone that they say adds more evidence that a tiny prehistoric Hobbit-like species once existed.
The jaw is from the ninth individual believed to have lived as recently as 12,000 years ago. The bones are in a wet cave on the island of Flores in the eastern limb of the Indonesian archipelago, near Australia.

I don’t know about you—but I think that the Bush Administration will soon announce that they not only have found Osama bin Laden, but that they are certain that he is dead and no longer a viable threat to liberty, peace and the pursuit of money. How he got to Australia remains a mystery, but Michael Novak’s secret source will say it was probably facilitated by some nasty liberals who in their refusal to believe in the existence of Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction, made his escape to Australia from somewhere else possible. And there will be talk in the Republican elite that the Clintons are complicit.

The religious right will soon announce that those bones couldn’t be more than three weeks old according to their corrected time line for earth’s history. Twelve thousand years? The earth is only five thousand years old! And besides, Australia wasn’t part of God’s original creation—it appeared only after England invented criminals and needed a place to send them.

The administration will announce that Halliburton has been given a multi-billion dollar contract to build a secret tunnel so that Osama’s remains can be brought to Washington for study. And I anticipate a report from the Bush Administration that Osama’s associates caused Hurricane Katrina to revenge his death.

Terrorist alert: yellow with orange polka dots.