And now exhausted

Things that await my attention surround me. Things that await my doing oppress me. I don’t know what to do! I exhaust myself wondering what to do. I don’t do anything.

Piled on every side of me are mounds of books that I have ordered that I considered essential to my intellectual growth. After a few pages into each I place a pencil with which I have begun to mark up the text to mark the place where I stopped reading, but then I don’t know which partly begun book to pick up next and in what order to do so. The dust continues to grow on the dust covers. In the “works in progress” file on my computer are papers awaiting revision and even a few ideas awaiting bloom; I am planning soon to begin all of it. On the table beside me are student papers that if I read now would free up time tomorrow to work on the books I ordered that I thought essential to my intellectual growth. But wait, I have meetings scheduled all day tomorrow!! And then I go to class where I will collect more papers. There are, I remember, the papers on-line that I will read and must comment upon.  There are always some bills I could pay now, and over there sit past issues of The Nation to catch up with so that I can continue to consider myself a true democrat and informed voter. Hanging on my magazine rack are the last two issues of Rolling Stone that I must read to maintain my status as being hip. And three issues of The New York Review of Books and my great uncle’s master’s thesis from 1906 on Syricac midrash. And, of course, I musn’t forget to watch the Super Bowl or suffer the dire consequences to my macho reputation!! I’m preparing the guacamole and chile: I hope someone is bringing the pizza and Miller Lite. Then I’ll have to look up who is playing and what sport is being played.

The floor out here is dirty and the desk tops are dusty. I should straighten that picture on the wall and check my email.

The UPS man drives up to the door and delivers another order from Amazon.com. I ask him for guidance and he tells me he’s already working overtime.

I think I’m going to pile the books atop papers and computers, put my feet up and take a nap.