Guns n' Bases

The shooting this week at the baseball field occupied by some Republican congressmen and aides seems to me ironic since it is the Republicans who advocate for looser gun control. What was that man doing with a gun in the first place? Indeed, Steve Scalisi—who infamously spoke to a convention of sorts of white supremacists and neo-Nazis—has been an ardent supporter of the NRA and for a relaxation of gun control regulations. Hoisted by his own petard, methinks.
     I have a suggestion for the Republican fools. As long as we are advocating looser gun control in order to  . . . well, this is what really puzzles me, because Scalise would have been shot anyway and the shooter was killed by the police who lawfully carry guns! What would carrying guns have prevented in this instance? Chris Collins, a Republican representative from New York, blamed the shooting on the Democrats . . . and declares that he intends to carry a gun into the House chambers from here on. This should call up short the Democratic opposition. But here is my opening recommendation: I think a handgun should be placed under each base in the infield, and under the chest protector and beside the bag of balls with the umpire behind home plate. The right-fielder (well, we know who gets to play right field) should also be armed, and so perhaps, should be the first and third base coaches. I mean, all they do is wave one of their arms at a time leaving the other hand free to draw and shoot!
     By what system of thought do the Republicans adhere that makes them so damn stupid and craven and dishonest. “Jane, you ignorant slut . . .”